Fidelity in Marriage

Infidelity is something that we see in movies and TV every day. The media makes it out to be that fidelity is normal and even sometimes good. I remember one time I was talking to my friend about a TV show. The main characters in this show were having an affair. My friend told me she thought this affair was okay because the wife of the man was so awful. Of course, my friend doesn’t condone real-life affairs, but I feel like society is teaching us to blur the line between fidelity and infidelity until there is no line left.

I used to wonder how affairs could happen. In my mind, people would just decide to have an affair and then go out and find someone. The more I study, the more I realize that this is usually not the case.

Infidelity is something that usually happens slowly. You make a few small choices and before you know it, you have at least emotionally betrayed your spouse.

H. Wallace Goddard (2009) wrote about the general progression of infidelity:

This usually starts with behaviors that seem innocent like working on a project with a coworker, doing volunteer work, or helping them in some capacity. Usually, the danger of these situations is that they are one on one.

Once you start spending more time with each other, affection grows. Flirting and justification for behavior start and the relationship becomes “special.” Instead of just a colleague, this person is now a special friend.

You can see that the progression is slow, but at the same time quickly becomes dangerous. Once this friend becomes special, you start creating opportunities to be with this friend. As more excuses are made to justify behavior, you start to put this person above your spouse and even wish your spouse were as good as them.

At this point, you may have not committed physical infidelity, but you have committed emotional infidelity that will quickly lead to physical infidelity. (Goddard, 2009, pp. 91-93)

I found this progression of infidelity explained by H. Wallace Goddard to be very helpful. I think that fidelity to our spouse is the most important thing in a marriage and yet it seems to be so easy to fall into some of these traps, even if it doesn’t lead to physical infidelity.

I am going to keep this progression in my mind and heart so that I can protect my marriage the best I can. I hope you too will look at this progression, possibly fix any relationships that are on this path, and do what you can to protect your relationship.

References

Goddard, H. W. (2009). Drawing heaven into your marriage: eternal doctrines that change relationships. Cedar Hills, UT: Joymap Publishing.

Matheson, K.W. Fidelity in Marriage: It’s More Than You Think. Ens