Couple's Councils

Elder M. Russel Ballard said, “I believe councils are the most effective way to get real results. Additionally, I know councils are the Lord’s way and that He created all things in the universe through a heavenly council, as mentioned in the holy scripture.”

Councils are the Lord’s way to run his church, but they are also the way to run a family. There are many different kinds of councils that you can have in a family, but today I am going to talk about what I believe is the most important council in a family. I think we need to start with couple’s councils before we move on to councils with our entire family.

There is a basic formula for how a council should be run. It needs to be regular at a set day and time. There needs to be an agenda that is made available to members beforehand. Some of the best councils start with words of love and appreciation for one another and then a prayer. Prayer is an important way to start a council because it invites the spirit of the Lord to the council.

Once we have invited the Spirit, it’s time to get to the nitty-gritty. This is when the leader of the council (I think it would be great for the husband and wife to switch off, but there are many ways you could work this out) brings up agenda items. These items are calmly, honestly, and respectfully discussed until all members (in this case just the husband and wife) come to a consensus. Once all agenda items are addressed, the meeting can be ended with a prayer and the couple can move forward with what has been discussed.

This is the basic formula followed by the Prophet and Apostles when they council and I think it is a great formula for everybody.

I think couple’s councils are specifically important for a family. They are a time where a couple can get together and make decisions on how to run their family. Ideas for types of agenda items would be the marriage relationship, work/school responsibilities, finances, children, and any personal problems that need to be discussed. It might be helpful to keep a running list somewhere where both spouses can add to it when they feel it’s necessary.

It is also important to remember that councils are a time when we should be especially careful to have the Spirit with us so we can calmly come to a consensus.

I’ve attached a printable for a meeting agenda you could use. I am going to use it as I try to apply these principles to my own marriage! Download it here!