“Many of the social restraints which in
the past have helped to reinforce and to shore up the family are dissolving and
disappearing. The time will come when only those who believe deeply and
actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of
the gathering evil around us.”
-Spencer W. Kimball (1980)
Our culture seems to be moving away from
family life:
The number of divorces per 1,000 married
women age fifteen and older increased dramatically from 9.2 in 1960 to 20.9 in
2011 (The National Marriage Project, pg. 70).
The percentage of children born out of
wedlock has increased from 13% for moderately educated in 1980 to 44% for
moderately educated women in 2006-2008 (The National Marriage Project, pg. 3)
The number of cohabiting, unmarried,
heterosexual adult couples has grown from .439 million in 1930 to 7.599 million
in 2011. (The National Marriage Project, pg. 77)
Based on these statistics it is obvious that the
family and marriage are not a central value in society. It is quickly being
pushed to the side.
Some might say this is not a bad thing. They might say
that the way we a relating to each other is just “different.” Unfortunately,
that is not true.
Stable marriages and stable families make stronger
societies. Unstable marriages and unstable families make weak societies.
“Children with divorced parents, on average, scored
significantly lower on various measures of well -being than did children with
continuously married parents” (Amato, 2005, pg. 77).
“Children born outside marriage reach adulthood with
less education, earn less income, have lower occupational status” (Amato, 2005,
pg. 78).
“The national cost to taxpayers when stable families
fail to for – about $112 billion annually, or more than $1 trillion per decade,
by one cautious estimate – are significant” (The National Marriage Project, pg.
7).
Sometimes when I look at all of these statistics on divorce,
I get nervous about the outlook of my own family. What if this happens to me?
How will my family be affected?
In the quote I shared the beginning it said, “only those who believe deeply and actively in the family
will be able to preserve their families” (Kimball 1980).
When I read this part of the quote, I realized that
there is hope for my family and for the family of anyone willing to work
for it.
There are two things we need to do according to Spencer
W. Kimball. We need to believe “deeply and actively.” I think the first part is
easy. For most of us, we love our families deeply and have a strong desire to
keep it together. The next thing he asks us to do is believe “actively.” To me,
that’s the hard part.
Actively involves action. It involves responsibility.
It involves choices.
Though I get nervous about the strength of my marriage
and family sometimes, I know that I have a choice in the matter.
I choose how I communicate with my husband.
I choose how I react in stressful situations.
I can choose to work to make my marriage stronger and
defy the statistics.
This is why I am making this blog. I want everyone to
know that they have a choice in their relationships. You can work to make it
better, or let relationships slip away.
I also want to share how important stable marriages
are to society as a whole. We need to work together to strengthen our marriages
and those around us.
I hope you follow along as I share practical ways to
strengthen your own marriage and I hope you encourage those around you to
strengthen theirs!
References
Amato,
P. (2005). The Impact of Family Formation Change on The Cognitive, Social, and
Emotional Well-being of The Next Generation. The Future of Children, 15(2),
(75-96)
Kimbal, S.W. (1980, November) “Families Can Be
Eternal”, Ensign, 4
The National Marriage Project (2012). State of Our
Unions 2012. (1-103)
